It's so bloody annoying how nearly everything needs a portfolio these days.

More or less wasted the whole of today away.

That sounds like a description of my life.

Cynicism is such a huge part of me; it has slowly morphed from a poison into an addiction.

bad timing

Planning so fanatically over Plan B that I'm starting to confuse it with Plan A. Time for a Plan C?

No words can ever describe how much I absolutely loathe this system I am currently obliged to slog through. Successful? World-leading? Encourages creativity? Une foutaise absolue. Sure, pat yourself on your back for being so successful, for being the champions of the world. But at what cost?

comment savez-vous si quelque chose est pour vous?

 cravings

 fragility

 indulgence

 boredom

tranquility

 heat

 satisfaction

 bittersweetness

obsession

I think the worst part is that some people have it so easy. That some people are so sure of what they want to do. That some people have all that it takes. And the only thing I have to my name is pretty much a blank so long that it runs all the way to the forgotten planet and back.

I really want to do it but I'm afraid that it won't work out. I really want to do it but I'm afraid I'll get judged. I really want to do it but I'm afraid I'll get looked down upon. I really want to do it but I'm afraid that my dreams are just that: dreams.

Just another girl, dreaming impossible dreams, too afraid of the future to make them come true.

at the rate my math is going getting 4 As is but a pipe dream

time to think of plan B

losing faith losing hope losing will

not smart enough not brave enough not optimistic enough not pretty enough not tall enough not creative enough not sporty enough not artistic enough not thin enough not helpful enough not responsible enough not fast enough not graceful enough not decisive enough not determined enough not outgoing enough

One month left in an age I have yet to get used to.

How do you go about deciding what you want to do with the rest of your life?

latin german spanish italian japanese greek russian swedish korean so many languages I want to learn so many things I want to do one lifetime is just not enough

fml I'm seesawing again

You guys never fail to make me feel like an ignored phantom.

Thanks a lot.

a Canadian flag, two Mexican flags, a Singapore flag, two music boxes one of which is shaped in a dusty carousel, two empty grande Starbucks cups (the whole deal, with straw, cover, et al), a hair clip, a 4-year old cylindrical bar of soap, a tube of jelly, a test tube with trinkets and little bling in it, a piggy bank in the shape of a pink lipstick, the corpse of a mosquito trapped underneath an empty cup of jelly, a pink keychain from Madame Tussaud's, a box of 50 postcards, two Mexican hat pins, a luggage lock, a hospital tag from a hospital in Warsaw...

this is getting worse