adding "clear room like seriously clear" to my post As list because oh god I'm surrounded by junk

I wonder when I started hating math

oh right ever since I entered jc

70 days to the end 70 days to freedom 70 days to life 70 days to putting your plan into action 70 days to taking one step forward 70 days 70 days 70 days

new (actually quite old) song obsession

plans to remake myself after A levels please have stamina for once

Nothing reveals our consumerist culture like the revelation of a new iPhone model. Looks like Aldous Huxley's prediction 83 years ago of "ending not mending" still holds true. But who am I to judge for I am guilty of it too?

STOP. DAY. DREAMING.

need As to be over so I can

• lose weight
• get a job (probably only after the MFA thing sigh which means I'll be scrimping/ borrowing/ begging till then fml)
• buy lots of unnecessary but necessary things (yes I'm materialistic like that)
• watch shows
• read books
• watch more shows
• shop (have I mentioned this already)
• sleep
• do things that would break school rules (but seriously after Oct 16 who cares)
• and cross off the other things on my Word document aptly named "Upon Liberation"

I've never wished for a year to pass so quickly before

exhausted no matter how much I sleep/ doze off, and despite the fact that I'm not doing any hardcore cramming. Is it going to be like this for the next 80 days because good bloody luck to me why hasn't anyone gone insane yet even sleeping just a little over time after the alarm clock rings in the morning is enough to make me feel so riddled with guilt when did things become like this I just want to log out of the world and from everything ahead or to be born again with no impressions of anything left to think for myself what is good and what is pretty and what is not to make the right decisions to pick the right roads to make myself a different person because according to the current world I am everything not no I just want to sleep and sleep and wake up when I want to and not when an alarm clock rings I want to sleep knowing that when I wake up it's a new day and I'll be doing new things and not repeating the previous day all over again another 80 days of this absolute misery you tell yourself it'll all be over before you know it but that doesn't change the fact that it's still 80 days of pure shitiness and you look at everyone else around you and you get so jealous of what they have where they are who they are and I just want to be in the world all by myself so I won't have to care about anyone anymore to save myself from the hypocrisy all around and degrees don't matter?

why am I so fat it's like I'm made of blubber and nothing else it's like even exercise won't help well yeah looks like I just got all the short sticks again what is it like browsing through clothes and not having to bother if it wraps too tightly around your centre what is it like trying something on and actually liking what you see and feeling completely confident what is it like pulling on a pair of shorts or trousers or a skirt and not looking like you're three months pregnant what is it like not having to push every hand that wants to pat your stomach in the name of fun away not because you don't want to be touched but because you don't want them to know just how bloody fat you are what is it like looking at the PE list of your class and not having a weight that sticks apart from everyone else's?

the truth in that comprehension passage is undeniable